The awkward moment when you fail at being mad at someone because they make you laugh.
"Dude she has a boyfriend.."...."yeah so? soccer has a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."
Boy: So, you like bad boys? Girl: Oh Yeah! Boy: Well, I'm not to impress you or anything but at Walmart I enter through the exit door.
"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter." - Walt Disney
Mom: "What are you doing?" Me: "Homework!" *Mom looks at the screen* "Really? When did they start putting it on Twitter?"
I love it when I buy a bag of air, and the company is nice enough to put chips in it.
You know you're amazing when people you don't even know hate you.
Girl: "All guys are the same!" Who asked you to try them all, slut?
'But Mom... What if I get kidnapped?' "Trust me, they'd bring you back."
Mom, my friends don't care if my room is messy, they just care if we have food.
My internet has been down for the past five days. I think my neighbor forgot to pay his internet bill...how irresponsible of him.
Log off facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, Log on facebook
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